Autoimmune diseases, pain, Spain, a fresh start – my story

If you were to meet me on the Costa Blanca today, you’d probably see a smiling woman who works in property, is building a business, meets with clients, and talks about the joys of life in Spain. Few people realise, however, just how long, painful and arduous the journey here has been.

My name is Éva Csernay, and I am a co-founder of La Fodi Property Advisory. More than ten years ago, I decided to move to Germany. I didn’t speak a word of German. I had no established network of contacts, no opportunities were waiting for me, and I had no idea how I would manage in a completely new country. I simply felt that I had to take the plunge.

I started everything from scratch. I taught myself the language, worked hard, made progress, and built my life up step by step. Back then, I thought I’d already got the hardest part out of the way. I was wrong.

The depression that defined my life for years

Before autoimmune diseases came into my life, I struggled with severe depression for many years. We’re not talking about feeling a bit down. Nor are we talking about a difficult patch. We’re talking about years.

Anyone who has ever experienced it knows that depression is not simply sadness. Rather, it is a state in which a person loses touch with hope, with the future and, often, with themselves. There were times when I simply couldn’t see a way out, yet there was something inside me that wouldn’t let me give up. Perhaps it was stubbornness. Perhaps it was faith. Perhaps it was just that inner voice that kept repeating that one day it would all be over.

I finally managed to pull myself out of my depression. I thought everything would be all right from then on. That was when the illnesses started to take hold.

When the diagnoses came thick and fast

First came one diagnosis. Then another. Followed by more and more problems. Over the years, the list grew longer and longer. Systemic lupus, cutaneous lupus, adipose tissue inflammation, asthma, severe osteoporosis, joint problems, spinal problems, chronic inflammation and operations.

By the end, there were more than twenty diagnoses listed on my medical records.

Anyone living with an autoimmune disease knows that it’s not the diagnosis itself that’s the worst part. It’s the pain. Not knowing what state you’ll wake up in the next day. Things that come completely naturally to others becoming a struggle. And, after a while, getting used to the suffering.

There were times when I simply took it for granted that something was hurting. Now I know that’s no way to live. Back then, however, that was my reality.

The thought that changed everything

After a while, the same thought began to cross my mind more and more often. It wasn’t that I wanted to get better. It wasn’t that I was looking for a miracle. It was something much simpler.

If I have to live with an illness. If I have to live with pain. If I have to suffer. Then at least let me do it by the seaside.

I remember feeling more and more strongly that I wanted to give myself the chance to live in a Mediterranean country. Not because I was sure it would be better, but because I didn’t want to go through life without even having tried.

A new life in Spain

In the end, my partner and I made the decision together. We moved to Spain. And Lola, our dachshund, came with us too.

Back then, neither of us knew what the future held. We didn’t know if we’d succeed. We didn’t know if I’d get better. We didn’t know what life had in store for us. There was just one thing we knew for certain: we wanted to give ourselves a chance.

Looking back on it now, I feel that this was one of the best decisions we ever made.

The turning point

Real change didn’t happen overnight. There was no magic bullet. There wasn’t a single magical moment.

On the other hand, there was a huge amount of work. A huge amount of research. A huge amount of self-discovery. A huge number of questions.

Step by step, I began to understand what was happening inside my body, how my body works, and how stress, my lifestyle, my environment and all the other things I’d previously taken for granted affect me.

I don’t know to what extent Spain, the climate, the change in lifestyle, my way of thinking, or the fact that I simply refused to give up the search played a part in this change. What I do know, however, is that I’m now in a place that no one would ever have thought I’d end up in.

What was previously considered almost impossible

One of the biggest surprises for me in recent years has been that the laboratory markers which were previously positive have now turned negative. Every single one of them.

We are talking about a number of benefits which, until recently, almost every doctor would have said were impossible. 

These days, it’s not just my lab results that are fine. I’m not in any pain. And I’m not taking any medication either.

Anyone who has ever lived with an autoimmune disease knows exactly what this means. It’s not just a good day. It’s not just a good week. It’s something I used to think I might never experience.

Recently, one of my doctors looked at my lab results and then said:

„If I were only looking at these results, I would never have guessed that he had ever been ill.” 

I must admit, a few years ago I wouldn’t have believed I’d ever hear this either.

I haven’t got my life back

Many people think of recovery as a final destination. I don’t see it that way.

I don’t feel as though I’ve got my life back.

I feel as though I’ve regained control of my life.

For a long time, I felt that my circumstances, my diagnoses, my pain and my illnesses were controlling my daily life. Now, I’m in control. And perhaps that’s the biggest change of all.

Why did I write this story?

It’s not because I want to convince anyone of anything. It’s not because I’m claiming that the same path works for everyone.

I just know that someone is reading this right now who might be going through a difficult time. Perhaps they’re struggling with depression. Perhaps they’re living with an autoimmune disease. Perhaps they want to start a new life. Perhaps they’re wondering whether there’s still any hope.

If there’s one thing I’d like to get across from this story, it’s this:

We are much stronger than we might think on our hardest days.

I now live on the Costa Blanca with my partner and our dachshund, Lola. As a co-founder of La Fodi Property Advisory, I meet people every day who, for one reason or another, are looking to make a change in their lives. Some want to invest. Some long for a more peaceful life. And some simply want to start a new chapter.

Perhaps that’s why I feel such a strong connection to stories about starting afresh. Because I know exactly what it feels like when you feel as though you’ve run out of options. And I also know what it feels like when you suddenly realise that’s not the case after all.

I know exactly what it feels like to start a new chapter.

That’s why Spain has become so much more than just a country to me. It has become my home. And perhaps the place where I’ve finally started not just to survive, but to truly live. ❤️